Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize