Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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