Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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