Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
