I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
