Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
