At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
