i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
