your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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