they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize