My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
