booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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