Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
