My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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