Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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