pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The air was thick with penises
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
