i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
