I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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