My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
