hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
