I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
