so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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