She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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