On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
