I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
