she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
