chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
