ya dads aren't the best wingmen
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
