oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
