this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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