I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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