Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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