I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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