Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
