How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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