K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
