She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
