i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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