his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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