how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize