Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
