i may or may not be watching the land before time
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
