just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize