Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
