Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
