Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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