hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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