just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
