She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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