two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
