Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Do vagina's smell?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
