Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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