i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
