I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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