ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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