We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
