We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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