You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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