just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
