The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
