He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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